Are You Living Someone Else’s Life?
Andrea Wright I Published on Link/Site
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, “Am I living someone else’s life?” It’s a confronting question—one that many of us don’t dare to consider because the answer might unsettle us. But if you’ve ever felt an undercurrent of dissatisfaction, a sense that something’s missing even when everything looks “right” on paper, it might be time to take a closer look at whose expectations you’re really meeting.
How We End Up on Someone Else’s Path
From the moment we’re born, we’re shaped by the expectations of others. Family, teachers, society; everyone has an idea of who we should be, what we should do, and how we should live. Maybe you pursued a career because it was practical or prestigious, not because it lit you up inside. Or perhaps you’ve adopted a lifestyle that looks great from the outside but doesn’t feel authentic on the inside.
The truth is, it’s easy to conform without even realizing it. After all, we’re hardwired to seek approval and avoid rejection. But over time, living someone else’s version of your life can lead to burnout, frustration, and a lingering sense of unfulfillment.
Signs You’re Living Someone Else’s Life
If you’re unsure whether you’re living according to your own dreams or someone else’s, here are a few signs to look for:
You make decisions based on what you “should” do. Whether it’s taking a promotion or staying in a relationship, your choices feel more about obligation than desire.
You feel disconnected from your own wants and needs. When was the last time you truly asked yourself, “What do I want,” and then followed through with it?
You’re constantly seeking external validation. You rely on others’ approval to feel good about your choices.
Your dreams feel vague or nonexistent. It’s hard to dream big when you’ve spent years living for others.
If any of these resonate, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Many of us have been there, including me.
My Story: Breaking Free from Expectations
I grew up in an environment where following directions wasn’t optional, it was mandatory. Thinking for myself or questioning authority? Not an option. When I didn’t follow the rules, there were consequences, and they weren’t pleasant. This deeply ingrained a fear in me: if I didn’t do things “right,” I’d be punished.
That mindset followed me into adulthood. In the workplace, I became an expert at anticipating what others wanted and delivering it. But the cost? A constant, nagging fear that I wasn’t measuring up. I was so focused on meeting others’ expectations that I lost sight of my own.
The turning point came when I realized I couldn’t keep living this way. I had spent so much time doing what I thought others wanted that I had no idea what I wanted. That’s when I made the scariest and most liberating decision of my life: I started my own business. It wasn’t about proving anything to anyone else; it was about finding my voice and my dreams.
It wasn’t easy. Asking myself, “What do I want?” felt foreign at first. But with time, I started to hear the answers. They weren’t always loud, but they were honest.
Reclaiming Your Own Dreams
So, where in your life are you meeting others’ expectations instead of your own? Take a moment to reflect. It might be in your career, your relationships, or even in the small, everyday choices you make.
Reclaiming your dreams doesn’t mean throwing caution to the wind or ignoring your responsibilities. It’s about being honest with yourself and giving yourself permission to live authentically. It’s about recognizing that your voice matters just as much as anyone else’s.
If this resonates with you, I invite you to sit with this question: “What do I want?” Don’t rush the answer. Let it unfold. And when it does, give yourself the courage and grace to follow it. After all, the life you’re meant to live is waiting, but it’s up to you to claim it.
